I don’t understand. We’ve been together for what feels like our entire lives and yet as soon as one of us has a tiny issue, it becomes this huge fucking thing that we can’t escape from. I want to be able to talk to you about this and to be able to tell you what worries me so that we can work on it together, but it’s so difficult. I don’t feel like I can bring anything up without it becoming this relationship-ending drama, and I know you probably feel the same.
We need to be able to communicate these things with each other, or this is never going to work. Nothing is ever going to work. I love you. I love you so much, and I want my time with you to be a safe space. I want to be able to air everything to you and to have no thoughts to hide. I want to be able to share my thoughts and know that we’ll still be holding hands at the end of the day. I want to be able to love you, but it feels like the both of us make it so difficult, and I don’t want to be the one who has to take the blame for every miscommunication.
I want to love you, but it’s so fucking hard.
I really do.